Going a little harder: Not settling for less

So, I'm on my journey, my path as an actor, musician, and cultural worker. I have left jobs that I liked and enjoyed to do this, possibly severing some relationships. I have taken a pay cut to do this, not necessarily struggling with the rent but finding it challenging to make the needed investments into the equipment and resources I need to be successful at my ventures. My faith is being tested on a daily basis, for walking this path brings up unexpected roadblocks, scenarios, and tests of endurance. However, I am still on it and still pushing forward. One thing that I am learning, or re-learning, is that tenacity is the key to prosperity. If you are to be where you envision yourself to be, you are going to have to plough through some tough situations.



Recently, a couple of tough situations have presented themselves to me to see how I would respond. First, my part-time job, the only "job" that I have now, has not paid me for the time I have worked so far this year. Now, it is typical when you begin a new job to have your pay witheld until you wokr a certain amount of hours, but when you are returning to a job you expect to get paid regularly just like how you did the year before (I work in the school system so we have summers off). Needless to say, also having recently moved to a new apartment I had trouble settling in fully because of this. It has been uncomfortable but it brought to light other issues with the new apartment arrangement that makes me see it in a new light. To make a long story short, I am considering moving again, although I have only been here for 2 months. My actions are not erractic or spontaneous given the circumstances (roommate melodrama), rather it is a test to see if I will accept what I am given and be unhappy or not settle for it and move on. Being a believer in people and the ability to transform, I will test it out for a little longer but if push comes to shove, I am already prepared mentally to do what I've got to do to be where I want to be, and that includes moving on up and out to a place I (wishfully) could settle in properly at.

Moving on, another tough situation has been dealing with women. I consider myself an attractive man (as many women concur :), yet I am not married and not in a relationship. Some ask if I know what I want in a relationship. Hell yes, I do! I know what I want so much that I even wrote it down and share it with people readily when asked (maybe that should be my next blog...or future blog). The tough situation is being presented with a quality woman with many good characteristics, but not feeling totally convinced that she is the right one. This has actually happened to me a couple of times. More recently though, I am dealing with that situation and I am being tested (I feel) on if I will accept her where she is, or keep the bar at the level I set it before and believe that another woman will come and surpass it. As stated, this issue has been somewhat reoccurring and at first I used to think that there was something wrong with me or my expectations. However, recently, I am feeling more confident and assured that there is nothing wrong with me or my expections and it's just that I haven't found "Ms. Beautiful" yet. Through analysis and acceptance, I have come to realize that a past girlfriend, my last long term relationship, set the bar at a certain level for what is expected from a women when in a relationship with me. Not finding that, or something close enough to it, makes it hard to just accept what I am given. So, rather than adjust my standards to fit the needs of women who I feel are not my soulmates, I figure that if I try just a little bit harder and have just a little more faith, I won't have to unnecessarily adjust my needs to meet her wants. Ms. Beautiful and I will meet each others standards (and possibly, probably exceed them) exactly where we are at, being naturally and comfortable who we are as individuals and members of society. Call me crazy, but I still believe in love, I still believe in happiness.

With all of this being said, tenacity is the key word for the day. Michael Jordan, Barack Obama, and Mahatma Ghandi all had to push a little harder in their own rights to get to where they wanted to be. They all had their faiths tested, yet pushed through until they were exactly where they envisioned themselves. And this should hold true for everyone else on the come up. You've got to push through. You've got to stay true to your beliefs and stick to them....even when you are vulnerable and weak. In fact, when you are vulnerable and weak but holding on is when you are actually getting stronger. So, be that. Get stronger. Don't settle for less. Believe in dreams, believe in your potential. Be strong and hold on. Your future happiness depends on it.