Being the change we want to see

For some today is the day. The day that their world changes, maybe forever, possibly witnessing a day that many thought impossible. For others, it's just another day, maybe carrying a little extra weight because of this casting selection to the political theater we have been watching for the last 21 months. But it's just a Tuesday in November like so many other Tuesdays and Novembers that have come and passed. Whether the former or the latter, I encourage all to do something a little bit different today. Yes, get out and vote. Not for me, not for a particular candidate, but for yourself. Impact your lives by getting involved in politics, taking a stand, not being complacent. These are definitely interesting and definitely changing times we are living in. Don't let those changes pass you by or not be in your favor. Be a part of the world you want to see. Create it. Contribute to it. Live it and love it.

Beyond going out to vote, I also encourage others to do something different within their personal lives. Get up and go jog if you have been meaning to get in shape for a while. Go watch a movie if you have been meaning to get some down time and ease some stress. Invest in a project. Finish a project. Project your light unto the world. Once again, these are definitely interesting and definitely changing times we are living in. There doesn't have to be too much emphasis placed on this moment, but some acknowledgement should be there. On a personal tip, I voted for Barack Obama. Yes, I believe he is a change that we have been looking for, but I also believe in the change that is going on in the world. From better intercultural relationships on the 'people's level', to more confidence from Africans in being 'authentically' African, to my (young) generation assuming leadership positions in many institutions, organizations, and cultures, I believe there is a spirit going around, a fundamental shift that is occurring within the lives and the consciousness of so many people. Yes, indeed, there is more hope, more opportunity, more potential today than I believe there was yesterday. And I believed this before Barack's candidacy for president. However, his rise, effort, and accomplishments have only confirmed this belief. I can now see that not only is change something that I feel, it is something that a whole lot of people feel.

Now, how do actualize this change, this opportunity to grasp the better? Well, only we can answer that. It's like how we say in the capoeira world: Go with the flow but also control the flow. It's about balance. Point is, we can feel change and want change, but if we don't actually put some action behind it, some physical effort to match our mental trains of thought, then we won't be going anywhere with our ideas. It'll just be that: an idea. But if we do something, back up our talk, live in moment and not just live for the moment, we can be anything, and I mean and believe anything, we want to be. We are the ones we've been waiting for.

I won't write too much more right now. I just wanted to post something. I just wanted to record the fact that I am thinking about this right now. I just wanted to do something a little bit different this morning and write when the thought is fresh on my mind, like I have been meaning to do for a while...and be the change I want to see.

Going a little harder: Not settling for less

So, I'm on my journey, my path as an actor, musician, and cultural worker. I have left jobs that I liked and enjoyed to do this, possibly severing some relationships. I have taken a pay cut to do this, not necessarily struggling with the rent but finding it challenging to make the needed investments into the equipment and resources I need to be successful at my ventures. My faith is being tested on a daily basis, for walking this path brings up unexpected roadblocks, scenarios, and tests of endurance. However, I am still on it and still pushing forward. One thing that I am learning, or re-learning, is that tenacity is the key to prosperity. If you are to be where you envision yourself to be, you are going to have to plough through some tough situations.



Recently, a couple of tough situations have presented themselves to me to see how I would respond. First, my part-time job, the only "job" that I have now, has not paid me for the time I have worked so far this year. Now, it is typical when you begin a new job to have your pay witheld until you wokr a certain amount of hours, but when you are returning to a job you expect to get paid regularly just like how you did the year before (I work in the school system so we have summers off). Needless to say, also having recently moved to a new apartment I had trouble settling in fully because of this. It has been uncomfortable but it brought to light other issues with the new apartment arrangement that makes me see it in a new light. To make a long story short, I am considering moving again, although I have only been here for 2 months. My actions are not erractic or spontaneous given the circumstances (roommate melodrama), rather it is a test to see if I will accept what I am given and be unhappy or not settle for it and move on. Being a believer in people and the ability to transform, I will test it out for a little longer but if push comes to shove, I am already prepared mentally to do what I've got to do to be where I want to be, and that includes moving on up and out to a place I (wishfully) could settle in properly at.

Moving on, another tough situation has been dealing with women. I consider myself an attractive man (as many women concur :), yet I am not married and not in a relationship. Some ask if I know what I want in a relationship. Hell yes, I do! I know what I want so much that I even wrote it down and share it with people readily when asked (maybe that should be my next blog...or future blog). The tough situation is being presented with a quality woman with many good characteristics, but not feeling totally convinced that she is the right one. This has actually happened to me a couple of times. More recently though, I am dealing with that situation and I am being tested (I feel) on if I will accept her where she is, or keep the bar at the level I set it before and believe that another woman will come and surpass it. As stated, this issue has been somewhat reoccurring and at first I used to think that there was something wrong with me or my expectations. However, recently, I am feeling more confident and assured that there is nothing wrong with me or my expections and it's just that I haven't found "Ms. Beautiful" yet. Through analysis and acceptance, I have come to realize that a past girlfriend, my last long term relationship, set the bar at a certain level for what is expected from a women when in a relationship with me. Not finding that, or something close enough to it, makes it hard to just accept what I am given. So, rather than adjust my standards to fit the needs of women who I feel are not my soulmates, I figure that if I try just a little bit harder and have just a little more faith, I won't have to unnecessarily adjust my needs to meet her wants. Ms. Beautiful and I will meet each others standards (and possibly, probably exceed them) exactly where we are at, being naturally and comfortable who we are as individuals and members of society. Call me crazy, but I still believe in love, I still believe in happiness.

With all of this being said, tenacity is the key word for the day. Michael Jordan, Barack Obama, and Mahatma Ghandi all had to push a little harder in their own rights to get to where they wanted to be. They all had their faiths tested, yet pushed through until they were exactly where they envisioned themselves. And this should hold true for everyone else on the come up. You've got to push through. You've got to stay true to your beliefs and stick to them....even when you are vulnerable and weak. In fact, when you are vulnerable and weak but holding on is when you are actually getting stronger. So, be that. Get stronger. Don't settle for less. Believe in dreams, believe in your potential. Be strong and hold on. Your future happiness depends on it.

A good time for art

America's economy is in danger. A generation-defining election is a month away. And change in the U.S. of A seems inevitable regardless of the outcomes of the economy or the election. Across the Atlantic, South Africa is dumping its sitting president, Nigerian oil revolutionaries have declared war, all the while Zimbabwe is attempting to balance itself out with some sort of wobbly power sharing agreement. With a plethora of other shifts and turns going on around the world, I can conclude to only one thing: Right now is a good time to make art. Why do I say this? Well, when else is a better time to influence the direction of culture than when it is naturally (or unnaturally) moving on its own? Artists are cultural workers, meaning they influence and critique culture to a point where they could actually have an effect on policy. Thus, given the cultural climate of today's world, more specifically RIGHT NOW, there is plenty of room and opportunity for artists to mold, create, and contribute to new, dynamic cultures and ways of being.


This "Now" that I speak of is partially rooted in the idea that hardship is a catalyst for change. While it is not true that only hardship brings change, artistically speaking, it is true that hardship has always inspired the best art. When people's backs are against the wall they tend to do one of two things: become more conservative and fear-ridden, or they take more risks and let it all hang out. For those artists who have the confidence and courage to take on the world's problems while still dealing with their own personal problems, this could be what they have been waiting for. From fighting Jim Crow and injustice in America to fighting apartheid in the Free South Africa movement, artists have defined periods in history with their work when they chose to seize the moment. This could be ours. Imagine painting that picture of the faces and spaces and places that define our current reality: Obama and the "next generation"; drizzle and rain on a sunny day; the turn in the American psyche. Imagine penning that song that your children's children will sing, study, and enjoy, getting a feel of what it was like to be alive now right now. Imagine....just imagine.


The most important time in history is now. As artists, it is our job to interpret and reinterpret the times that we are living in. Though hardships and unforseen changes are eminent, we can turn this into a cherished moment in time. We need to take chances and step out of the box, out of our comfort zones. We need to let it all hang out, invest in the moment and behave like tomorrow is not promised. We can do this and stay above the fray if we keep moving, keep producing, keep creating the newness that we seek. Right now and anytime is a good time for art. However, because the "Now" is loaded with so many other variables I believe it should be responded to with more factors if we are to balance the equation. Artists should respond by giving more of their hearts to their work and working their hearts out to touch hearts. We can inspire others to capture this moment, unveiling creative energy and expressions that have been suppressed, witheld, untapped, or just unseen until now. And when we do, when all of this is realized as more people allow themselves to be empowered by choosing creativity, we would not have only captured the moment and owned it, we would truthfully and sincerely be being the change we want to see...Now.

The Art of Backflipping

For years now I have been trying to do a backflip. I can dunk a basketball and walk across a room on my hands, still to jump backwards and over was a feat I dared not attempt. The fear has been paralyzing. What made it worse was seeing people who were less athletic than me complete the task, yet not wanting to fall or hurt myself kept me from even trying at all. Imagine fervently wanting a car but won't buy it because you are afraid to crash it. Well, I broke free the other day and finally gathered the courage to purchase that vehicle and take it on a test drive. I didn't crash once, though I swerved a few times.

Last Wednesday morning, at Far Rockaway Beach in Queens, I jumped backwards and over. I lept into the air and I trusted. I trusted myself, I trusted the universe. Though nerve-wrenching at first, I eventually completed the feat enough times that I felt comfortable doing it. By doing so, I didn't only complete a back hand spring but I conquered a phobia: the fear of falling. I know that the fear of me falling from a back flip is directly related to my fear of falling while trying to do artistic acrobats. As charasmatic and out-going as I am, sometimes I get nervous about standing out from the crowd, to do something that someone else can't do -- or chooses not to, and live with some excitement and dare in my life. Although I know that I am capable and probably even positioned to do so, I can be conservative with some of my expressions for fear of not getting the unique one correct. But this thinking doesn't make sense. Why would you have all that potential if it was not meant to be used? Why should you be strong if you are not meant to be powerful? It is this question that has nagged me and challenged me to keep trying, keep moving. I understand that backflipping is an advantage, an edge, another option. Owning its execution opens the gateway for more exciting and empowering opportunities. But I'll never know these opportuntities unless I believe I can get them. So I must go for them without fear, not being afraid of falling because I know how to get up and I am focused on where I am going. The mind can conceive what the body cannot yet acheive. Thus, as long as you are not physically paralyzed, there is no reason to mentally paralyze yourself too because there is still work to do.



I have come to find that the art of backflipping, the discipline of creating new options for yourself, is about having faith. You can have all the abilities in the world, and then work and prepare and plan for as long as you want to do something about it, but if you don't have the courage to act on your potential then you will never be satisfied. Your movements don't have to be as fancy as a backflip, they should just reflect the creativity and courage you possess inside of you at that particular moment in your life. And then when it's time to do your own interpretation of the "backflip," remember why you are doing what you are doing and how you will feel if you don't. Then just do it. Choose faith over fear and you will make it there...wherever that there may be for you.

But seriously...

Okay, so I've been living in New York for almost a year now. It's been an interesting journey so far, comprised of stories of exploration, concentration, and self-determination. I moved to NYC to be closer to the theatrical world, to find my place in it, to create my role within it. Despite the the challenges that I face and have faced, I believe am doing just what I set out to do. After a three week trip to California this summer, which was a much needed getaway and active meditation, I'm back in NY (just moved to Brooklyn, baby!) and more determined than ever to make my mark through my art. Specifically, I've printed out business cards and I am networking like crazy. The result: I'm being offered more roles for acting and other creative gigs. It could also be because I am approaching everyday life with more confidence, secure but not overbearing, feeling empowered by the process and possibilities of this discipline of expressing myself. In the meantime in between time when I am not involved with the theatrics of playmaking, I am playing percussion and starting to record vocals again. The result: I'm beginning to gig as a percussionist around NYC and I am finding producers and all sort of musicians that I'd love to work with....and we're actually following through on the process! So, the question is, with all of these opportunities brewing, raising my value in my own eyes as well as in the eyes of others, how seriously I should take myself? I mean, pretty seriously, right?


I am a theater artist and musician. Playing a character in a production is a lot like playing an instrument in a band: you are going for one voice, one theme, one sound, one story. And after watching Barack Obama's acceptance speech last week, I was reminded of what I felt were the four most important words of his speech, "It's not about me."



All of this is to say that I shouldn't take myself too seriously. For one, there is always someone out there who is better than me at something. And two, taking myself too seriously ruins the notion of working together, in communion, with my fellow collaborators. I am not a solo artist, though I could perform alone. What I mean is that I represent something that is bigger than me, something more profound than any group of words I could string together. I represent a culture, a lifestyle and perspective, shared by a new generation of thinkers, global citizens, and cross-cultural workers. I once told a good friend of mine that while on stage I don't want people to look at me, I want them to look at the world we live in. Similarly, choosing to study and play and instrument is reflective of the importance I put on the sound of the collective, only emphasizing the individual's voice as an addition to the whole, not as a whole onto itself. Consequently, my individuality allows me to be whole. My connection to the whole allows me to be an individual.


It is my belief that artists who take themselves too seriously have lost, or are loosing, their connection to the whole. I don't want to become like that, although I understand how it can come to be. However, I try to stay grounded by doing things to humble myself, like remembering my family overseas and being thankful for all that I have here on this side of the Atlantic; bigging up a partner's performance to take some of the attention off of myself; and/or controlling impulsive urges to remind myself that discipline determines distance you will travel, just to name a few. In either case, no matter how many breaks come my way and no matter how successful I am at those endeavors, my intention is not to ever take myself too seriously. I know that I am only here because of those who came before me and because of those coming after me. So, at the root of it all, I am only playing a part, I am only a piece of a continuum. My role is just as important and unimportant as a character actor: the other characters in the cooperative are dependent on me for the story to exist but the story is not focused on me. It's as simple as that. Play your part, and play it well, but recognize that there are more parts, more stories, more expressions than the one that you occupy. You are only as important as the importance of your collective. I guess the key to balancing it all, I believe, is to master your solos and monologues, for that is when you can be just as important as you want to be. But even then it probably won't be as serious as it seems.

On Money

“I was told that cash rules everything around me
And I should get the money…”

Quoting myself (with a little help from Wu-Tang), I wrote these words a few years back to begin a lyrical poem about making money. I called it “Money for the Movement”. My inspiration – besides growing debt, bleak job opportunities, and the desire for less stress due to cash flow – was to express my reasoning of why getting money is so important in today’s world…if not yesterday and tomorrow’s worlds as well. You see, at the time, I was fresh out of college and still heavily influenced by a predominantly pure socialist way of thinking. Having studied political science, I became aware of the so many immoral actions and ill-gotten gains of countless people and nations in the name of money. Consequently, I rebeled against the idea of such behavior, surrounding myself with like-minded thinkers and building up a united mental front towards the philosophy of capitalism. To add fuel to the fire, I traveled around the “Third World” for my last semester in college (Semester at Sea, Spring '02) and concluded that with a two month stay in Nigeria, my bloodline roots, of which I had taken a decade and a half long hiatus from (not of my own doing). In Nigeria, I re-experienced what it was like to not have the resources you needed when you wanted them. It took a little getting used to again, but some things I never got used to and just wanted them changed for the better...forever. Yet, not even then was I fully convinced that making money needs to be a high priority. What really got my going about this whole idea of making money was coming to terms with my creative self and the desire to make art, and starting to calculate what it would cost to actually actualize some of these ideas.

“So now my eyes are open to the words that were spoken/
Money makes a man go to having it from hoping…”



Actualize. That’s what did it for me. From thinking up an idea to funding it to distributing it, actualizing your intentions takes money. I’ve witnessed this truth on all fronts, whether personal or not, ranging from independent music projects or budgeting for a movie, throwing a party or holding a fundraiser, money is needed in some form or another to see your dream turn to reality. And so, I’ve changed my mind about having it, using it, acquiring it. My philosophy now is that money is not the root all evil. People are the root of all evil. Our lack of self-control, self-awareness, self-respect and self-love make us act evil to each other because we don’t see ourselves in each other. We fight over crumbs and stiff our neighbor to get a bigger piece of the “pie”, yet it is that same neighbor that we will need in a different situation that will remember the wrong doing we’ve done to them and not trust us enough to help us out. It’s an age old scenario. The East calls it karma. I guess this would be bad karma. I believe in it. I also believe that using money unselfishly, yet still investing into Self, brings about good karma.

“I need this money for the movement/
Paper for the purpose/
Equity for evolution to watch my dreams surface/
I got fam overseas yall that need to eat/
And still got fam in America need relief/
I got a heart from the poor but don’t come from the streets/
Just know that: too many starve, while too few feast”

I am still a student of political science. I still want to, and will, live in the “Third World” (starting with Nigeria again) and seek to influence their policies and culture. Yet, settling in on a career in the arts has challenged me to be more about what I am saying, express this intent through action. In doing so, I have had to reexamine my relationship with money and figure out how I will fund my ambitions of being a bi-continental cultural worker and agent of change. What I have concluded is that money is going to play a big role in succeeding with this ambition. Does this make me evil? No, I don’t think so. It can’t. Because the intentions in my heart are not evil, they are pure. The intentions in my heart are good and just, thus the way I handle my money will be the same. Thus, I am rededicating my mind to thinking about getting this money. I used to think that I would feel guilty for having a lot of money, but I would willingly accept millions today if it were offered to me. Money will help my mother retire from her three jobs she works at 58 years old. Money could pay for the college education of my younger sister. Money could build in schools and feed my cousins, aunts, and uncles in Asaba, Nigeria, the place I call home in Africa. Money can create more jobs by investing into industries, small businesses, and new ideas. Money could decrease crime because basic needs and wants are met, lessening the temptation to stoop to one's lower self to get them met. Money can do a lot of good in the world if our minds and hearts are in the right places.



“Let’s be real/
Love makes the world go ‘round/
Money only makes it easier for us to exist in it/
If we know we are the children of God and can hold it down/
Why accept being broke and all its inner limits”

How you get money is just as important as getting it. I don’t condone stealing, robbing, killing, lying, or cheating to get money. At the end of the day, being a good human being and treating others the way you would like to be treated takes all precedence over getting money. However, once those things are in place, I say that you go full force about getting, receiving, acquiring, obtaining, attaining, and holding onto money in the moral manner that you see fit. It can, and probably will, make a world of difference. I write all of this today as a reminder to myself, and anyone else who reads it, to give ourselves permission to be financially well-off. If you work hard you should be rewarded. It just so happens that many of those rewards come in the form of money these days. So why not accept it? You are not a bad person for doing so. A lot of good can come out of it if you will it to. And so, if you already have the will to make the world a better place, go ahead and make a little money to help you in your mission. I guarantee that it will help.

Well, there's really not much more to say. I’ll simply leave you with the last line of the poem:

“Get that money yall”

Joga Bonito

Okay, so I haven't written here for a while. Everytime I try something comes up and I don't get to finish it. I came to realize that the hustle and bustle of it all was more in my mind and less in my actions. I mean, yes, I have been "keep moving" and trying to get things done, but some things wouldn't have to be done now if they were taken care of before. For example, I moved to New York to pursue acting and artistry as a career. However, since I have never done this before, so to speak, I didn't quite know where to start. What I have learned, or re-learned, is that a career is exactly what it sounds like: a career. I have been jumbled up with work-for-survival responsibitilies, both pleasurable and not so pleasurable, since I came to NY and it is affecting my focus on my artistic ambitions. Although the places that I work for are respectable institutions with valid missions and credible curriculums, my tasks there don't fully further my ambitions. Now, to part ways or recreate relationships with them that are more in line with my vision for my future has taken me one day, one email, one conversation too long because I am a sucker for positive causes in the world. Yet, my personal cause is slowly fading into oblivion as I attempt to assist others with theirs.


Stepping into and up to your destiny is a personal decision that requires courage, confidence, persistence, and patience. I have to admit that I have been lacking in the arena of confidence to go at my career goal with full vigor and a one-track mind. I used to think that it was selfish to focus solely on what I wanted to do but I have changed my mind. It is not selfish. It is self-love. I am not hurting anyone by focusing on what I want to do, what I believe I have been put here to do. Nor am I hurting myself, as I have integrity and class when I approach my art. In addition, I have my own ideas of how to contribute positively to the world through the formation of institutions and/or foundations. Yet, they will never be realized if I don't actualize my intentions and stay true to their course of growth and development.


Joga Bonito. I play Capoeira Angola. It is a Brazilian-African dance-fight-game that requires a lot of athleticism, flexibility, and cunningness. The ones who master, or attempt to master, these traits in tandem with each other are known to play beautiful, or what we call joga bonito. Like in life and your destiny, you must approach the game of capoeira with courage, confidence, persistence, and patience. You need courage to try new moves, confidence in yourself that you can actually do them, persistence to keep trying, and patience to know when to try them. If you stay on this path, you should reach your goal of expressing yourself freely while still safeguarding yourself from threats and entertaining, more specifically edutaining, an audience at the same time. I guess this could be seen as one way to reach the people while still having fun
:-D.


So, in conclusion, this entry is about reclaiming your right to your destiny and taking control of it with the confidence you need to do it well. The whole world is a stage and people are watching. Give them a show. Be the example that they want to emulate. Be the example for others to learn from. Go back to your destiny and play this game of life with athleticism, flexibility, and cunningness. Express yourself freely. Have a little swagger, it's all right. Yet, still safeguard yourself from outside threats and be humble along your path. There is always someone bigger or better than you (God, for example) and they may not always be as nice as you are. However, when it's your moment to reap the rewards of the path you've sown, own it, flourish, dance, smile, jump, skip, sing, trick and sometimes treat, just never stay down if you so happen to trip. Just joga bonito, people, joga bonito.

Chike

P.S. The clip below is a demonstration of a joga bonito. After watching this last night and speaking to my brother this morning about approaching your destiny with confidence and a little swagger, I was inspired to write. Hopefully I'll capture more of these moments in the future and enter more entries into this online journal.

P.P.S. This is not me in this game. I don't have too many videos of me playing yet but I am becoming more conscious of the importance of seeing myself within the roda, not only to study my movements but also to record the history of my participation and contributions to this beautiful art form. Alright, enjoy.